Routine of Life

I was reading through Izzah's blog ..
and saw her Dream bout her abang ..
I almose cried when i was reading ..
It was really really emotional even though i don't really know her abang ..

Sometimes, it just hurts to see the one you love goes ..
Move on to another world and leaving everyone he/she adore behind ..
It just hurts the one who are still alive and grieving for the one who is gone ..

Just a few weeks ago, my whole family went over to a temple for "Qing Ming jie", ( The day where you go over and pray your ancestors)
Every year, i would definitely make an effort and go over for prayer.
And every time when we walked towards the urn of my Third-Uncle, i would try my very best not to cry..
And every time .. i failed to do so.
My tears will just rolled down without any sound and i will have to either tit my head up or use tissue to clean it away.
Cos the memories kept flowing back to me .... it's like from when i'm very young till the day he passed away.
It just hurt me ..
But my grandmother felt the most .. he was her son ..
It was not easy for her or my 3rd aunt. ( my uncle's wife)

He is my favourite uncle ..
When i was younger, he used to tease me by showing me his denture( by pushing them In and out of his gums)
And he really showered his love to us, cousins by buying sweets or stickers for us ..
He smokes ... which is something i don't like.
But he's always the good husband, father, uncle and son ..

But misfortune tend to happen ..
When we received a call at night .. in the middle of the night where my grandmother called us to tell us that my uncle is in the hospital,
all of us couldn't sleep ..
And i was 9yrs old at that time.
I don't know what had happened but hearing from what my sister( who was 12 that time) told me that something had happened to my Uncle, i was scared.
We started to pray to God and hopefully that they can help to save my Uncle's life while my dad and mum went to the hospital ..
My brother was still 4 at that time and didn't know anythg ..

My dad and mum came back ... after what seems like hours
and they came back with the news that my uncle is gone ..
But he had manage to keep his last breath till my grandfather arrived to see him ..
I can't really remember what happened .. but on the next day, my sister and father went to the hospital and see my uncle for the last time.
I wanted to go .. but couldn't due to being young.

It was so painful to know that he was gone like that ..
At such a young age ..
Everyone in the family couldn't bear the sudden departure ..
Maybe at that time, cos i'm young, i couldn't control myself ..
I cried so much ... so much ...
all the way from the start to the end ...
And i didnt know that when you cry, your loved one will never go in peace ... ( This is what i heard frm Radio in 2003)
I didn't know that .. cos i just missed him.
He is the best ... a sudden loss.

Even until now, when i'm writing this, i still cried at the thought of my uncle.
And whenever i think of any sad stuff or death issue, i will still cry ..

And now, after 10yrs, my 3rd aunt did not remarry ..
We didn't ask why ...
but we know that she still love my uncle no matter what ..
Sometimes, i really salute her and think that one can be so devoted to the one they love.
This is the love that they shared .. a connection.

But no matter what, my uncle will still live in my heart and he'll always be the best ..

" Treasure everyone you love .. Love everyone you treasure "

deLpHine